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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First off, I head to the workshop on Jl. Stasiun. You know, the one that smells like fresh wood and a hint of fish from the market nearby? Yeah, that one. I’m all set to work on this custom table for some fancy restaurant. I’m thinkin’ it’s gonna be a chill day. But then, boom! My buddy, Rudi, shows up. He’s all like, “Bro, you gotta help me with this roof!” I’m like, “Dude, I got my own stuff to do!” But Rudi’s got that puppy dog face, and I can’t say no.

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